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A Living Legacy

A Living Legacy

Exactly one year ago, a dear friend & mentor of mine passed away suddenly. As I shared in a post last year, Tim Smith was nothing shy of an extraordinary man. And yesterday I had the privilege of sharing a meal with his youngest son, Harrison.

As I walked into the restaurant, I immediately had chills down my spine as I saw Harrison sitting at the same table his dad and I used to sit at.

As we sipped coffee, we talked about life, relationships, faith, philosophy and of course, his dad. Somewhere along the line, the topic of nationality came up.

I asked Harrison what nationality he was and without skipping a beat he said proudly, “I’m a Detroiter.” I smiled ear-to-ear thinking, ‘this is exactly what his dad would of said!’

As we ordered our food, I prompted him to go first.

He looked over the menu and with an eager voice said to the waitress, “I’ll have the caboose.”

I thought to myself, ‘what the heck is the caboose?’

A quick glance down the menu and boom. There it was. The perfect blend of corn beef, hash browns, eggs and toast (as shown below).

As I ordered my two eggs scrambled with a side of avocado, I noticed Harrison looking at me the same way his dad would have in the past when we had shared a meal.

It was the look of “what a lame choice for a greasy spoon diner.” Prompted by his body language, I threw in a side of cinnamon raisin bread to toughen up my order. 🙂

My Plate & Heart Were Full

During our meal I felt an array of feelings flowing through my heart, with the primary one being Joy.

In a strange way, part of me felt like I was sharing one more meal with his dad. Between his mannerisms, smile and big round glasses, it was obvious why I felt this way. However, the other part of me felt thankful to begin a new friendship with Harrison.

As much as Harrison reminded me of Tim, he is also clearly his own person — one who is coming off a really tough year and ready to make small shifts towards a New Year filled with new adventures. It was inspiring to be with him.

There was no doubt in my mind that the legacy Tim left was alive through Harrison. And it was also shining back at Skidmore Studio, the creative company that Tim previously owned.

I learned so much from Tim as did countless people that knew him. As we celebrated his life we toasted over whisky and a few tears back at the studio.

We reflected on many memories and talked about things like:

  • His ability to make you feel like part of his family
  • His unshakeable devotion & love for his wife, Colleen
  • His love & pride for his boys, Harrison & Hayden
  • His big heart full of big ideas
  • His struggle to follow through on his big ideas 🙂
  • His love for baseball
  • The incredible book he wrote the year before he passed (Dare Mighty Things)
  • The core values he knitted into the fabric of the studio
  • His love and passion for the City of Detroit
  • The Dr. Seuss book that guided his career (Oh, The Places You Will Go)
  • And so much more…

In between stories, there was a common feeling people expressed of how they felt his spirit through various signs and serendipitous happenings.

Drew Patrick, our new owner and longtime friend & business partner of Tim’s, put it perfectly. With confidence in his voice and tears in his eyes he said, “I know Tim’s looking down on us smiling. I can feel that he’s happy. I can feel that he’s proud of us.”

You don’t have to own a company. You don’t need to have children. And you don’t have to write a book or be from Detroit either.

You just need to be you.

Make memories with those you love most and embrace all of the ways that make you, you.

Try each day to enjoy your life and the gifts you’ve been given. And try your best to do good, for that’s ultimately the only thing you can control.

If you approach each day with this mindset, chances are you will create a living legacy like Tim’s that gives back for generations to come.

“Expect Nothing. Experience All”
Ksenija Savic Ostach — my wife 🙂

Past Speaking Events.
ZF — Quarterly Planning Meeting
Mort Crim Communications — Lunch & Learn
TEDx Salon — Oakland University
mParks — 2019 Annual Conference
AllState — Thrive Talks
ICLE — Health Law Institute Conference — 25th Anniversary

Loren Siffring, my spiritual advisor, mentor and dear friend has written a discussion guide for men called, The Spiral of Life. It’s a great resource to grow through mentorship & encourage one another. More on Loren can be found here.

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An Extraordinary Man

There was nothing ordinary about Tim Smith.

He was often seen in a Mickey Mouse t-shirt, wearing a flannel paired with nice dress shoes. He idolized Bill Murray (before anyone else did). He owned every Prince album ever produced and rode around town on a pink bicycle encouraging people to Dare Mighty Things!

One may find these things unusual for a 54 year old man. Personally, I find them remarkable. Tim’s most remarkable qualities were best reflected in Skidmore Studio’s core values (Be Creative, Challenge, Team, Communication, Integrity, Details and Enjoy).

Pictured below, you’ll find him standing proudly behind a pet project he crafted just a couple short months ago. Like a young man eager to show his parents something he’d built, Tim stood tall as he walked our team through the importance of each value and it’s meaning to him. At the end of his remarks, our core values came to life via a wooden block figure shown below.

An Emotional Leader

Tim wore his emotions on his sleeve and would often tear up at our team meetings. He cared so deeply about the people he worked with and the values we all shared.

Each time he got emotional, the same sequence of events would happen:

  1. His forehead would begin to sweat.
  2. His hands would have a subtle shake.
  3. And his glasses would come off (as demonstrated above).

Like a catcher behind home base, you knew when the fastball of tears was bound to come across the plate of Tim’s heartfelt message. This quality drew you to him. He was real. Vulnerable. And always sincere.

A Life Size Spirit

Earlier this month, Tim passed away suddenly from heart complications.

It’s been a shock to his family, the studio, and the entire Detroit community.

Tim was one of those people that made you feel better just by being around him. Beyond the fact he was my boss, he was a mentor, friend, and in a strange way somewhat of a father figure. I know many people that knew him had a similar connection.

Now more than ever, our team continues to live out these values as we move Tim’s vision to “Create the Extraordinary” into the future.

At Your Core

It’s hard to uncover the core of who you are and dig into what you stand for. After all, it’s already in you. Spending time inward to reflect on the values that are authentic to you is an important aspect to a meaningful life. Unfortunately, this isn’t a regular event on your already busy calendar.

My challenge to you is to find the time to reflect on your core values. Tap into what makes you tick. Let the real you bubble up. Spend time embracing what makes you, you. Only then, can you define and determine your core values.

If you find you need a little help and inspiration along the way, seek out the Tims in your life. They may or may not be riding a pink bike, but their glowing passion for life should be easy to spot.

But most of all, find time to be vulnerable and take off your glasses once in awhile.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” -Maya Angelou

About Mark

Mark has been compulsively checking his phone for over a decade. He finally mustered up the courage to do something about it. A man of many interests and a wellspring of energy, Mark is on a mission to teach people healthy digital habits. A sought after speaker on the Psychology of Technology, Mark teaches you how to defeat distractions so you can connect with purpose. Visit markostach.com to learn more.

Director of Accounts at Skidmore Studio, Speaker at MarkOstach.com

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Are You Devoted to Facebook?

Are You Devoted to Facebook?

According to the Webster Dictionary, devotion is defined as:

1) Passionate, often selfless affection and dedication, as to a person or principle.

2) An act of religious observance or prayer, especially while in private.

Personally, I view devotion as the intersection of my intention and energy utilization throughout the day. Where are my thoughts pointed? How do my feelings drive my actions? How does my TODO list impact my ability to be interruptible?

A little while back I was given great words of advice from my dear friend and therapist, Suzy. She shared a mental exercise to help me become more aware of how I devote my energy each day and today I’d like to share it with you.

The Energy Unit Metaphor

Imagine you have 100 units of energy to spend in any given day.

Let’s say you wake up late — (boom 15 units off your day).

You find yourself running behind, skipping breakfast, and feeding your mind with fear based thoughts rather than oatmeal and a green smoothie (minus 10 units).

You hop into your car and race off to work (minus 10 units). While stopped at a red light, you check your email (I know YOU wouldn’t do this) and discover a nasty email from your boss (minus 20 units).

As you continue your commute you find yourself at a standstill on the highway (minus 20 units).

You decided to check Facebook “real quick” and reveal that your ex-girlfriend is “now in a relationship” with you old best friend (minus 30 units).

Before you’ve even arrived to the office, your already out of energy units! What happens next, seems to be the new norm.

You become “so busy” as your scurry throughout the remainder of the day. This results in a lack of margin to allow for the unexpected things that always seem to pop up (i.e. your child is sick at school, your friend needs a favor, etc.). Being low on energy units can zap your ability to be useful when responding to these spontaneous pokes for your attention. Richard Swenson, author of Margin has this to say:

Being useful to God and other people is a large part of what life is meant to be. And yet “usefulness is nine-tenths availability”. When others need help, they don’t need it two days from now. “We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God.

Regardless of your religious affiliation, answer this question:

Are you interruptible?

How are you spending your interruptions?

I don’t know about you, but I’m most interrupted by the Internet, especially Facebook.

FACEBOOK TIME ALLOCATION

According to Neilson Research, the average Facebook user spends 8 hours a month (or 15 minutes a day) connected to Facebook. This number doubled from 2010. If the amount of time continues to grow, Facebook could consume 96 hours a month of one’s time and energy! Talk about devotion! This can really jeopardize your time alone and your ability to allocate time where you need to most.

“FACEBOOK IS LIKE A FRIDGE. YOU KNOW THERE’S NOTHING NEW INSIDE BUT YOU CHECK IT EVERY TEN MINUTES.”

Ignoring the extreme time projections above, let’s just look at the average user spending 15 mins a day. What else could you do with an extra 15 mins each day? Here are ten suggestions:

  1. Meditate — Check out Headspace
  2. Stretch
  3. Sit-ups
  4. Read a book
  5. Reflect in Scripture
  6. Make love
  7. Call an old friend
  8. Go on a walk
  9. Give your significant other a back rub
  10. Write in a journal

Let’s face it, these items yield more joy in life than a time spent allocated to Facebook.

WHAT ARE YOU DEVOTED TO?

Before you find yourself saying “I’m not devoted to Facebook”, ask yourself if you can relate to any of these other digital devotions:

  1. Video Game Benders
  2. Nextflix Marathons
  3. Taking the Perfect Selfie
  4. Chronic Pornography Use
  5. Compulsive Phone Checking
  6. Capturing every ‘moment’ through Instagram

The point is, our time is precious.

Where we devote our time often produces the sweetest fruits of our crop.

Bringing it back to the mental exercise on energy units, if you find yourself spending more units that you have, you’ll end up over drafting. This haphazard spending can put you in emotional, physical, and spiritual debt. Leaving you no time to devote toward rest and relaxation.